Why Do The AnCrappers Keep Hitting Themselves?

In case you don’t know, I recently took down Anarcho-Capitalism. After winning, I changed their name from AnCap to AnCrap. It’s over guys. You lost. Move on. Don’t let lose aversion or your creeping feelings of loyalty to your cult leader, Piggy, stop your intellectual growth.

The best part about though is that every time they try to hit me, they just keep hitting themselves.

Why would you admit that the whole worldview you’re promoting isn’t grounded in reality? You’re literally telling the world that for decades you’ve been engaged in one grand exercise in mental masturbation. “Hey, guys, you should all believe in Anarcho-Capitalism we know will never work because we never bothered to look at reality.” To which I say…

This is what I’m most enjoying about this whole process. The AnCrappers keep throwing their best moves at me so that when eventually Piggy fights me I’ll know everything he’s got and know how to counter it.

How do I know Piggy will fight me? Because I know the realities of human psychology because I did look at the data.

And, at a certain point, this will get so embarrassing that his loyal followers will be like, “Yo, bro. This is Hunter guy is talking so much shit. He’s embarrassing us. You got to shut him down.” And, at some point, Tom will be forced to step into the Mixed Mental Arts octagon to defend the honor of his life’s work. And then…what do you think happens? Two ideologies enter the ring but only one can leave.

What’s so amusing is that is that the AnCrappers HATE Communism. They despise it. But I’m generally curious as to why they think it failed? To take Kyle’s own words, wasn’t communism based off logical deductions of a premise.

There’s another irony here. Marx was a great, big, fat person who sat around on his couch theorizing all day.

Whether you’re supported by Friedrich Engels or your cult followers, if your theories aren’t grounded in reality, they’re going to end in failure. AnCrap really is a Confederacy of Dunces if they don’t get that.

Oh, Pignatius. You’re so silly. When will you realize that you’re just a little Piggy Wiggy?

The most amazing thing is that people pay for this AnCrap. They pay for Piggy’s pig shit. Why would they do that? And what does that say about human nature?

Why don’t they realize that no matter how fancy the rationalizations, the basic thinking behind Anarcho-Capitalism and Communism are the same.

Four Legs Good. Two Legs Bad.

Government Good. Capitalism Bad.

Capitalism Bad. Government Bad.

Oh, wait, no. I take it back. Anarcho-Capitalism isn’t the same as Communism. It’s the exact opposite. Ohhhhh…now, I get it.

For the people interested in reality out there. People who want things that actually work this is an amazing illustration of a couple of tendencies in human thinking and human history. There’s a movement and then there’s an exactly opposite counter-movement. Humanity has a long tendency of just wildly swerving from one extreme to the other all grounded in logical deductions from philosophical premises. Like Marxism. Or Ignatius J. Reilly thinking about Medieval Scholasticism. Ignatius also foretold the doom of The United States and explained it in terms of his own narrow reading.

“A firm rule must be imposed upon our nation before it destroys itself. The United States needs some theology and geometry, some taste and decency. I suspect that we are teetering on the edge of the abyss.” ― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

 Which you can see is totally different from…

 Utopian movements grounded in deduction from logical principles by fat men theorizing on couches inevitably end in disaster. That’s why it’s so important for Mixed Mental Artists to humiliate Piggy before he turns into Napoleon the Pig from Animal Farm. Teasing him is far more compassionate then letting him evolve into a monster.

Look at how serious my Piggy Wiggy looks. Utopians who get wrapped up in their own mental masturbation always are. And even the AnCrappers know where that leads. I found this in the comments thread of one of Piggy’s many episodes decrying the evils of Communism.

 Once we humiliate the AnCrappers, great things will happen in the Libertarian movement. The pendulum will swing away from logical deductions from philosophical premises. No one will want to be publicly humiliated like Piggy is going to be.

And don’t worry, Piggy Wiggy. We’ll help you deprogram yourself from all that Mental Masturbation. You’ll just have to read something other than Medieval Scholasticism, Pignatius. I mean…The Austrian School of Economics.

Read, widely, friends. No matter how elaborate your mental masturbation in reality it always turns into a nightmare.

Rather than careening from one extreme to the other, why don’t we just admit that we’re not sure what reality actually is. And then, devote all our minds to trying to figure it out. But doing that will require a lot of people looking at a lot of data. Fortunately, the intellectual liability that is my little Piggy is being turned by your friend Toto into one of humanity’s greatest intellectual assets. We’re going to make him into a powerful lesson about how the human mind works.

And we’re going to have fun doing it too. I just want my little Piggy Wiggy to come out to play. Where is he? Where is my little Pignatius?

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.” ― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

Does Piggy make cheese dip or does he prefer wine cakes like Ignatius? Or maybe…my little Piggy Wiggy likes to snort up chocolate truffles like the little oinker that he is.

Well, folks, now you know why the FDA exists. It exists because humans will sell literally anything to make a buck. And not even because they’re malicious, but just because they lose interest in reality. Data can be awfully booooooring. Thank goodness people like Dr. Frances O. Kelsey and the good, hardworking people at the FDA engage with it. Isn’t that right, Peter Schiff? Or should I say FDA Fingers? How’s them fingers working out for you?

Now, here’s the question for you, reader, what does all this say about your own mind? It says that magical thinking isn’t something you escape because you were born in the 21st Century. It’s not something you escape by logical deduction from philosophical premises. It’s something you escape when you realize that you are no different from all the other humans throughout history who have confused their naive realism for reality. And then, you get paranoid. And decide you don’t want to waste your entire life flapping your lips around a twig airplane. And you don’t want some utopian movement that uses its logical deductions to justify its actions…whatever they may be. You want reality. And, then, you’re like…fuck…what is that?

And then you look at the vast, vast mess that is the Scientific Literature and you say, “There is no way I can figure that out on my own.” And so, you decide to get a group of people together. And you call them Mixed Mental Artists. And, together, you’re going to go around and shake all the little bubbles and watch the snowflakes come out.

And the snowflakes will throw their best arguments at you. And pretty soon followers will start to leave their bubble and decide that this reality thing is a problem worth solving. And so, over they come and we form a movement around that. And we have fun doing it. Because if there’s one thing the Communists and Fascists didn’t know how to do, it was laugh at themselves. And that’s why they had so many delusions.

 Look at that face. What a serious face my little Piggy Wiggy has.

Here, Piggy Piggy. Oink Oink Oink. Rather than writing a lengthy indictment against our century and eating some cheese dip, why don’t you come play with your friend, Toto?

He loves all humanity. Even you. Because he knows that any human can get swept up in pleasing fantasies. And he wants to share that most important of lessons with you and your followers.

However, if you’re a diehard AnCrapper, then don’t do this…

You might realize that rather than following a great Wizard, you’ve been following a pig that has no clothes.

Wait until the AnCrappers realize they’ve been following a humbug and they paid money for his pig crap. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

The government has no place regulating ideas. But ambition must be made to counteract ambition. And it’s my ambition to ridicule fantasies out of existence before they become nightmarish realities.

But the Emperor doesn’t realize he has no clothes when one person laughs at him. He realizes he has no clothes when a big crowd laughs at him.

So, tweet at @ThomasEWoods and tease him. Call him, Piggy. Call him, Pignatius. And save him and his followers from their own fantasies. They’ll get angry at you at first but, in the end, they’ll thank you. And, you’ll have done yourself a favor. As the AnCrappers know, reality bites. And when the Utopia isn’t working out, the next logical step is to blame the humans for failing to live up to your fantasies. And if you have power then you do this…

Teasing. A little dose of public humiliation. It all nips bad ideas in the bud. So, say it with me. Thomas E. Woods is Piggy. Anarcho-capitalism is his fantasy island where no one is in charge. But it turns into Lord of the Flies and it ends like this…

Save Piggy from his own bad ideas. And save his followers from paying for elegantly-packaged pig crap. And anyone who wants out of the AnCrap movement is welcome to join Mixed Mental Arts, especially Piggy himself.

Right after being born in Saudi Arabia, I was taken to the Callen house. Since then, Bryan and I have travelled the world with our Citibank fathers and somehow ended up in LA together. There we’d run into each other at family gatherings and do something that no one else in LA seemed to be doing: we talked about books. Since Bryan was kind of a big deal, Hunter and Bryan hatched a scheme to use his podcast to get on their favorite authors and professors. Out of that evolved Mixed Mental Arts and this tribe. For me, the marriage of entertainment and education is a return to how things used to be before our culture split story into two separate things. It’s exciting to be able to build on the work Katie O’Brien and I did for The Straight-A Conspiracy and expand it out to every area of life. While I play a series of roles in the Mixed Mental Arts community (including Shitty Dutch Uncle and Bryan’s #1 fan) my favorite role is as Toto who pulls back the curtain and let’s the world see that there are no wizards…only men and women who try and puff themselves up to seem important.

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